1 Reason Why

As you all know, I did watch and finish season 2 of “13 reasons Why”.

You see, I generally watch these types of shows for the underlining meaning and messages, and not necessarily for the fireworks we expect from TV shows.

Fireworks = All the bells and whistles, story arch’s, and big bangs at the end of the episodes, AND seasons.

And so….. I began my journey down the rabbit hole.

As I watched the second season on Netflix vicariously through Clay’s point of view, I took special notice of several incidents within the season.

Today, I’m only going to focus on one of them. The others, can wait for other segments. 


Clay sat with his dad nearbye a tree, perched on a stone wall after his testimony. As they sat dumbfounded by the results, of the day. Who wouldn’t? The female lawyer who fought for the opposing side sure did an amazing job at stumbling the students on the podium.

Her goal: To make Hannah look like a horrible person. Through the entire experience, she fought tooth and nail on the concept that it wasn’t the school’s fault that Hannah killed herself. Despite the fact that Hannah had come to several teachers for help, and didn’t recieve it. She also fought that Bryce was not to blame for raping her because it was Hannah’s responsibility and own fault for being in that situation. Despite the reality that Bryce was part of a longtime and deep rooted rape ring that dated back several years and targeted many girls over the that time frame.

I couldn’t help but wonder…In real life how someone can defend these types of actions and still live with themselves, or even sleep at night?

Whoah Whoah Whoah 

I am in no way condoning suicide, or saying that it is the answer. What I am saying is that, in these types of situations ALL parties involved are responsible for the outcome.

Funny, If I had encountered that woman, I probably would have thrown the remark, “Beesh! Unless you’ve been raped!…. You have no right!” In her face.

Bottom Line:  The woman proved a very unfortunate reality. People who don’t go through traumatic experiences such as rape, abuse, etc. will NEVER know or understand it. Therefore, they will demonize. Whomever they see fit.

Back to the point:

Clay’s father looks over at him and asks, “Why is it that kids keep secrets from their parents? … Why is it that kids don’t tell their parents anything ever?”

They shared thoughtful glances with each other and his father proceeded to ask, “Is it shame? It can’t be fear of punishment because no one’s punished for anything anymore.”

He then looked directly at clay and asked another question, “Are you afraid we wont understand?”

Clay responded, “More like afraid you’ll understand to well.”

Clay’s dad shrugs with thoughtful contemplation and asks, “So your protecting your secrets?”

With a hardhitting statement Clay finishes off the conversation by saying, “Or were protecting you.”

A powerful moment of the season.

I may not be a teenager anymore, THANK GAWD! But I still do rememeber what It was like to be one. OUCH!

I would agree that there is a small factor of shame involved when it comes to sharing with your parents. Most importantly, fear of disappointment.

Why?

It doesn’t matter how many punishments or  consequences you face, there is nothing quite like that sharp bitter cut and feeling of disappointing your parents.

Along with that dissapointment also comes a change in opinion. Therein lays the most excruciating part of it all. Knowing that your parents may never look at you the same is also a very painful feeling.

Why? 

As kids we’re either making our parents proud, or we are dissapointing them, and most times we don’t get to pick.

Thinking about it in respect to Hannah, she was raped. For girls/woman, being raped isn’t just something they get over. They have to live with it. They are shamed by it, they re degraded by it, and they are quite simply embarresed beyond all measure by it. To expect her to reveal something so horrid to her parents, without all those underlining emotions and feelings, is like expecting  to fly up to the moon on fart fumes alone.

Ready for take off!!

As a parent, This series not only opens my eye’s to my future teenagers in my house, but because not too long ago, I too was hormonal fueled teen with similar issues myself. While not every teen has the SAME experiences, we can all relate to the rite of passeges that teens DO go through. Whether positive or negative, we face them.

In conclusion, while we all believe we’ve been there done that. As I stated above, everyone experiences a different journey, and everyone has a different story to tell. Which means, just because you went through it, doesn’t mean your kiddos are going through that exact same thing. No one feels, nor experiences anything the same. Next time your kids drop a bomb on you, before you use the I’ve been there talk, maybe take a moment to realize,  maybe you haven’t????

 

Rather than “Knowing” maybe simply “Emphasizing” is the KEY.


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