Crystal's Tale (Sandy And Her Teenage Shenanigans)

“If you can’t figure out where the root is, you wont be able to pull the weeds.” ©Rare-ity 5-5-16 #stuffraresays 

Jane sat at the dinner table with Sandy. Sandy had been struggling with some issues recently, but didn’t understand why or know what her problem was. Teenagers these days. Sandy had gotten into trouble recently for one of her typical teenager shenanigans. Sandy struggled inside herself since her mother had kicked her out. For three years, Jane and Alex had been picking up the broken pieces of a shattered girl.

Lately, Sandy was quite the emotional ball of FML! “Sandy… Tell me, who’s love do you desire the most?” Sandy started balling silently and began to lie, “You guys.” She began to grow flustered with her emotions, and focused her energy on saying what she thought her father and stepmother would want to hear. Jane placed her head down, “Sandy stop.” She looked over and stared at her for a while then continued, “Let it all out.” Sandy began to cry even harder. After a few moments of patience, Jane said, “Now.. Please Sandy, answer me truthful. This time, you really need to reflect.”Sandy curled up into a ball, and said, “I just want my mother to love me for who I am.” Jane calmly held her composure with empathy. “What makes you so sure she doesn’t love you?” “Because she doesn’t care.” Sandy cried. “You don’t know that.” Sandy looked at Jane with confusion, as these comments gave her something to think about. “If I’m not like her, then she doesn’t like me. Why do I have to be fake to be loved by her?” “I don’t know Sandy it sounds like that’s her battle to fight, not yours.” “What do you mean?” “You are who are you and because of that…. She is the one missing out.” This thought gave Sandy an enormous amount of relief.

“Do you think trying desperately to be just like your mom may be affecting your relationship with your friends?” Jane asked Sandy.

“It definitely is.”

“Tell me why?”

“Because my friends think i’m fake.”Jane stared at Sandy this time with a small grin on the side of her mouth, “Then I guess you have some reflecting to do huh?”

“I think I have.” Sandy said. After Sandy’s moment of reflection Jane asked, “Oh?.. tell me, what have you reflected?”

“That I need to be nicer, and stop getting into trouble.”

“Oh Sandy.. What did we just talk about?”

She looked down, Sandy didn’t ever seem to want to have “real talk.” Lately, with all her behavior issues Jane wasn’t about to let up on her, “Dig deeper.” Jane pushed.

“It’s just … I think that if I act like that my mom she will notice me.”

“Has she?”

“No. :/” A moment of silence fell over them as Jane contemplated that. Sandy liked  to call Jane mom, “Mom… What does my mom have to do with my behavior?”

“Does she hurt your feelings?”

“Yes.”

“Do you feel down about yourself because of how she makes you feel?”

“Yes.”

“Do you get jealous when your friends talk about their moms.”

“Well.. Sometimes.”

“Do they notice a shift in your behavior when that happens?”

“They always get bugged with me soon after.”

“Mhm… All these things your doing… They are results of this pain.”

Sandy stared at Jane with a sort of resolution. She smiled at Jane and Jane smiled back.

Jane stared at her for a while, until she watched everything she said sink into Sandy’s young teenager mind. Suddenly Jane revealed,

“Sandy … You gotta look for the core of your problems. If you don’t know where the root is, you won’t be able to pull out the weeds. In this game we call life, we grow by trimming out the weeds. You’ll never know what needs to go, if you don’t know what needs to be tended to.”


© Rare-ity 5-6-16

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For Mother's … Unite!

Alrighty world, this post goes out to all my family friendly readers out there. Yes Mothers our special day is near. How many of you have been forgotten on Mothers day? “Shhh! I have.” Meh! …

Today, that is besides the point. Being a mother… Well that sure is heck ain’t no easy accomplishment (Yes I said ain’t 😮 ) I mean hello nine months of change to your body, the pain associated with the process… AND….YES!… No joke, your basically looking forward to getting hurt. Don’t sit here and try to tell me you don’t feel like a train wreck after giving birth? Not to mention, being a hungry beast afterwards 😉 So often we mothers get so engulfed into our chores, and daily duties for our children, that we tend to forget about ourselves. We just… Don’t have the time. Our bodies have changed. We may or may not be happy with what we see. We simply forget all the amazing reality we bring to the table. Mother’s Day is dedicated to celebrate all that we symbolize, are, and can be. Men… WE love you … But you can’t deny we woman get the harder part of the child creating bargain. If I’ve gotta spend a year nursing a baby… You better believe I’m going to pinch my spouses nipples a lot. JUST to show him what it feels like in the beginning to feed your child. 😆 (No joke) 

Mother’s are their first teachers. We spend a majority of their formative years, helping them development. No, it’s not like we watch TV all day, and you know… Just chill.  We spend our days transitioning ourselves, and a baby into the household schedule, tied down to nursing all day, teaching them the skills they need to survive. As a mother of four, and one step kid, I can say, a day in the life of a mother is quite a straining daze… But … They sure do make me proud.  Some days, I want to scorn my 9 yer old for trying to stay up late watching the newest popular kid YouTube videos. Ugh! That moment when your walking down your hallway, and you hear a mans voice 😱 Busted! Watching the shaytards. Now, I must admit it’s not a bad blog. Who doesn’t appreciate seeing a family out there with a large family like us? … She still makes it so darn hard to get mad, because she’ll get up in a great mood, AND EVEN MAKE BREAKAST FOR THE SIBLINGS.!!!  

“Awe shucks!”

My 4 year old: He’s our first born together. The inevitable cringe of growupville is right around the corner, as he will be 5 this August. This momma is melting down. 😔😕 This Saturday, we had a meme-able moment. I’m not gonna lie, we love Star Wars. We have light sabers, the movies, and the songs stuck in our head EVERDAY.  Yeah I’m that dorky parent, “Sigh.” 🙄 I couldn’t even begin to handle hearing, “Mom sing the black mater song.” 😂 Just … AWE!” 

Then, I have my three year old (In June). That little sour patch kid is a bruiser. He loves you when he feels like it, but don’t bother him about it any other time.  He MUST have everyone else’s things. If he can’t have it, you will rue the day. 😱 And my precious little princess the newest of them all. She is well … Time consuming. On top of blogging, editing, and working on my novel, I drown in lack of time… But she’s oh so precious and miraculous. That 5 month old melt hearts with those blue eyes, and blonde hair. Just like big brother. 

Has anyone ever told you the struggle of Being a step parent?  I will.  I love that kid to pieces and she’s a sweetheart. Holy shiboli … That girl … We call her little miss butt hurt. Why? If someone says, does, or thinks about something that upsets her, she will throw a match to the wind, and set fire on everyone.  If her dad says anything rudely to her, which is often. (Him and his male mind, lacking that sensitivity we woman crave.) she’s um… Fourteen, and with her puberty brain … Well …She doesn’t get mad at him, she directs ALL her anger AT ME! Mhm. No joke. If dad upsets her, I pay for it to no end. Pretty unfair if you ask me, but who said life was meant to be fair. 

Thus, leads me to my point. Think of the woman in your life. Remember the struggles they go through, and obstacles they endure. Don’t let that special mother in your life go un-pampered this year. Give her a reason to remember her worth, beauty and accomplishments. Appreciate her. Sometimes we woman feel unproductive when we are stuck home, with no achievements other then, “Guess who went poop today!” …. 😐 yeh!

So guess what? … As I was shopping on amazon today, I saw some unbeatable deals for mom. The thing is, we all must think of mom in some way or another. Why? Because we take on the hardest feats of the entirety.  Pregnancy, labor, birth, nurturing, feeding, and tiger marks OH MY!” 😝 Really though, while motherhood is quite the joyous ride, it comes with it’s challenges. Without the proper encouragement or support, mothers can feel defeated, and lost in the cracks. whether it be your sister, mother, wife, grandmother, or daughter, if they are a mother, remember them! For any of you out there reading my post today, click here to access discounted Mothers Days products. Courtesy of my discounts from Amazon 😉

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Did She Really Just Say That?

Alright! It’s Friday. Crystal’s tale…. I know. I promised. (Rolling eyes in disappointment.) It’s been a rough week. Appointments are becoming more trouble then their worth, and well… Dang it!  Let me tell you a little story about that struggle of motherhood I mention every once in a while. I have this beautiful, brilliant, ball of mess that I call my daughter. Yes I just called her a giant ball of mess. This little freedom fighter, free spirit, against the crowd girly will with no exception, do something simply based on whether you did or didn’t ask her to do it or not to do it.

“Wakey wakey. It’s time to get ready.”

“Meh…grumble grumble, yawn, roll over.”

“Really!”

Every day this week, this kid has forgotten something. Aha! #writerproblems

EVERY TIME I SIT DOWN AND START TO GROOOVE, THIS GAL HAS GOTTA TO PULL ME AWAY! This morning as we sat for breakfast, and chatted say. Woo! All them tiny ones slept in 🙌 “Go team!” I made it a point to Say, “Make sure you have everything today, I cannot come to your rescue. Not today.”

“OK.”

Yeah farking right OK … That little maniacal grin crested on her face. Have i mentioned shes sarcastic like fawk?

Two hours later…..(Think spongebob)

“Hey mom.” Awkward giggle.

“Really?”

“Can you please bring my permission slip? I need it by today.”
Never fails. This is one of those meme-able moments. Whats that? #facepalm. Yeah! And I was over here like bust out the happy dance it’s Friday!

I had been editing since six am. Victory!  Or shall I reference the Percy Jackson book series “For peanut butter!”  (A cyclops hollering a battle call for Poseidon with his mouth full.)

Either way, now here I am posting about it to you. My glorious readers. Good morning and Happy Friday!

What’s new? I’m over here in my little writers nook of the world, watching silently as people I know, some I love, breakdown their private dramas publicly on social media.

“Du du dooo du, du du doooo du….And these are the days of our lives! Tune in next week to see if James comes out of his coma!”

“Nah!” (Scarey eyes)

So I’ve pondered a lot lately. These journeys we all experience, they are all focused on one main factor. “We live to learn.” One cannot condemn another for mistakes they make, have made, or pondered.

“Uh Huh …yeah… He said/she said whaaaat?

“Where’s the popcorn?” OK, OK, you get the point.

Really though: relationships are hard. They don’t come with a manual. No world there is no book out there that teaches us how to co-habitat with others. (Pondering…Hmmm maybe there is 😉 ) Life really is process by elimination. To love one another, we must love ourselves.

Nine Traits that make a relationship functional:

  1. Understanding
  2. Compassion
  3. Fairness
  4. Genuineness
  5. Affection
  6. Empathy
  7. Compromise
  8. Respect
  9. Communication

Any hoo, I’m not in Dr. Mel mood today, so I’ll simply take off with my hands to the wind and enjoy my weekend roller coaster. Yeah!

Mellie

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