Don’t Be That Guy

“Our personal struggles do not give us the right nor justification to treat others badly. No ONE is responsible for our pain and no ONE should “pay” for the pain we carry inside.” #StuffRareSays

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The thing is:

We all have struggles.
We can either walk around
Preconceived assumptions about people….
That will impact not only how we treat them
US as a person.
Walk WITH understanding
The path we walk…
Bears the fruit…
Within our own actions.

Be mindful with how you treat others.
WE ALL have struggles.
Which means…
NO ONE has time for bullshit.
Proving themselves.


Did Someone Say Chores?


“Intimacy should NOT feel like a chore.” #StuffRareSays

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The other day, I spoke with J. Danae. She said something to me that sent me down another reflective path.

There are different levels of healthy and unhealthy relationships.


Let’s pinpoint one:

Controlling versus receptive relationships

In some controlling relationships
We see everything a couple does with each other in a one-sided manor.

Examples may be;
On their terms, their way, their time, their convenience.

Receptive relationships tend to ebb and flow with one another.
An attribute that contributes to jiving well together.

Example may be;
Fulfilling the emotional, physical and intellectual needs of your partner.

Have you ever fallen into either category?

I mean… relatable.

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If you or someone you know is involved in a controlling relationship, you ALREADY know everything you do with your partner…
WILL feel like a chore.

It is in THOSE moments that you will see the answer you’ve been seeking.

The only thing left….
Is a decision.



“Even though I was swarming in chaos, he still managed to sweep through and get my attention.” #StuffRareSays

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Yesterday was such a busy day for me.
1. Getting up early to brush though Baby blue’s wet hair.
2. Snagging a few extra cuddles in before the kiddos headed off.
3. Getting a blog post up before heading out to work.
4. Get to work.
5. Leaving work early to propose a project at a board meeting.
6. To head back to work for a double.

During dads……

You know.

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5 Year Anniversary

It’s always nice to keep yourself busy but Wow!
Do I wish I could have taken a few moments to…
You know, spend on him.

Then it happened:

“I set a glass of ice water down on the counter to help a customer. Somehow, it managed to slide steadily off A FLAT SURFACE. My reflexes are impeccable. I attempted to catch the glass but with the force of the “slip” the glass was GONE. After a failed attempt to catch the suicidal cup of water, a hovering presence washed over me. In what I’d like to call a frozen moment. I’d felt DAD.”

A friendly reminder that our loved ones are always with us.
They live in us.
They pulse through us.
They stand with us.



Do not confuse yourself. What is spoken out of the mouth of another, isn’t always truth. We can tell our loved ones how we feel about them all we want but it is how we SHOW them that represents our true feelings towards them.” #StuffRareSays  

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Believe it or not:

Actions DO speak louder than words.
If you or anyone you know is in a relationship where words are predominately more important than the relationship itself…
You or they…
Are withstanding emotional abuse.

The interesting aspect about the human psych. is….
We don’t necessarily remember what people say to us, but we WILL remember how they make us feel.
ESPECCIALLY during our hardest times in life.

It is within those feelings that should determine whether or not those words are true.

These are actions that cannot be corrected.
No matter how hard you try.
Truthfully, it isn’t your place to correct anyone’s behavior to begin with.
That is an individual’s cross to bear all on their own.
Until they learn their lessons, they will succumb to…
lesson after lesson.
loss after loss.
Until one day….
They too
Will wake up to their faults and the repercussions of them.

Meanwhile, you must stop and ask yourself.

“Will I be complacent, or love myself enough to move on?”