“If you can’t figure out where the root is, you wont be able to pull the weeds.” ©Rare-ity 5-5-16 #stuffraresays
Jane sat at the dinner table with Sandy. Sandy had been struggling with some issues recently, but didn’t understand why or know what her problem was. Teenagers these days. Sandy had gotten into trouble recently for one of her typical teenager shenanigans. Sandy struggled inside herself since her mother had kicked her out. For three years, Jane and Alex had been picking up the broken pieces of a shattered girl.
Lately, Sandy was quite the emotional ball of FML! “Sandy… Tell me, who’s love do you desire the most?” Sandy started balling silently and began to lie, “You guys.” She began to grow flustered with her emotions, and focused her energy on saying what she thought her father and stepmother would want to hear. Jane placed her head down, “Sandy stop.” She looked over and stared at her for a while then continued, “Let it all out.” Sandy began to cry even harder. After a few moments of patience, Jane said, “Now.. Please Sandy, answer me truthful. This time, you really need to reflect.”Sandy curled up into a ball, and said, “I just want my mother to love me for who I am.” Jane calmly held her composure with empathy. “What makes you so sure she doesn’t love you?” “Because she doesn’t care.” Sandy cried. “You don’t know that.” Sandy looked at Jane with confusion, as these comments gave her something to think about. “If I’m not like her, then she doesn’t like me. Why do I have to be fake to be loved by her?” “I don’t know Sandy it sounds like that’s her battle to fight, not yours.” “What do you mean?” “You are who are you and because of that…. She is the one missing out.” This thought gave Sandy an enormous amount of relief.
“Do you think trying desperately to be just like your mom may be affecting your relationship with your friends?” Jane asked Sandy.
“It definitely is.”
“Tell me why?”
“Because my friends think i’m fake.”Jane stared at Sandy this time with a small grin on the side of her mouth, “Then I guess you have some reflecting to do huh?”
“I think I have.” Sandy said. After Sandy’s moment of reflection Jane asked, “Oh?.. tell me, what have you reflected?”
“That I need to be nicer, and stop getting into trouble.”
“Oh Sandy.. What did we just talk about?”
She looked down, Sandy didn’t ever seem to want to have “real talk.” Lately, with all her behavior issues Jane wasn’t about to let up on her, “Dig deeper.” Jane pushed.
“It’s just … I think that if I act like that my mom she will notice me.”
“No. :/” A moment of silence fell over them as Jane contemplated that. Sandy liked to call Jane mom, “Mom… What does my mom have to do with my behavior?”
“Does she hurt your feelings?”
“Do you feel down about yourself because of how she makes you feel?”
“Do you get jealous when your friends talk about their moms.”
“Do they notice a shift in your behavior when that happens?”
“They always get bugged with me soon after.”
“Mhm… All these things your doing… They are results of this pain.”
Sandy stared at Jane with a sort of resolution. She smiled at Jane and Jane smiled back.
Jane stared at her for a while, until she watched everything she said sink into Sandy’s young teenager mind. Suddenly Jane revealed,
“Sandy … You gotta look for the core of your problems. If you don’t know where the root is, you won’t be able to pull out the weeds. In this game we call life, we grow by trimming out the weeds. You’ll never know what needs to go, if you don’t know what needs to be tended to.”
© Rare-ity 5-6-16