Highs and Lows

Yesterday morning, I felt so awesome. I successfully achieved getting my post up by 9am.    I had intended to sleep in because… lets face it, I just don’t ever get enough sleep. Blah! (ohhh here she goes again)

Thanks to that drunk driver Christmas Eve of 2009, my back, my neck, my tail bone, AND my right hip are doomed.  Blah! Sleeping through that pain is impossible. Well, not for the first three hours, but after that, wide awake to the sound of crickets! (Think theme song to the sound of music.)

 

haha not exactly  But ya get my point. 

In spite of it all, I tend to get really creative late at night, and early in the morning, so it usually works out positively for me.

WOOO!  OK I don’t know about you but I’m laughing pretty darn hard at that. Hey locals.. remember election day? 

I’ll uh… Let you have that one for a moment.

I’ve also slowly but surely gotten back into my regularly scheduled … um…schedule. 

AND!

Instead of sleeping in, I rose early, and got to work. With a zen face mind you….

I was feeling an all time high. 

Until, I received a phone call with animosity.

Have you ever experienced that moment, when your feelings, and your emotions are at high, but something or someone kills it and brings it right back down to a dangerous low?

Recently, I was just given the go ahead to start a live segment on a local radio station that I volunteer for.

VOLUNTEER!  

Let’s not forget that your beloved RareBear is STILL a mother of four, and your typical “Starving Artist”.  Which means, I CANNOT dedicate all of my time to volunteering. Especially, when Baby Blue is still home. Without a paying job, daycare is out of the question. Things cost money, and you know what… So do I.  

I read once that we should all know our worth, and the last couple of months have helped me see my worth.

AND!  We can all agree when I say, our paying jobs MUST come first. As a volunteer, you can only dedicate some of your free time to the job. Not all. Sorry but I’m not going to make Jay miss an entire days worth of work to work all day for free. It Isn’t logical.               Therefore, I am at the whim of his lunch breaks and no longer.  OK, OK, Why does this aspect bother me?

I was originally given the OK to volunteer weekends and evenings. Yet, that became a problem quickly, and It was shut down just as quickly as it started. There went, my window of opportunity. I then had to start finding times during the week, early in the day in order to keep up. There’s that uphill battle I talk about again. So… I made do.

“Nothing bothers me more than someone who cannot keep their word”

Back to the phone call, my live segment was cancelled. With the explanation of, “If you can’t get in here and edit this pre-recorded segment you did last week, we can’t have you on to be live. ”  OK!  If I don’t have time to edit something the day of, I typically go in the week after, to edit. Why? BECAUSE, I HAVE A TWO YEAR OLD AT HOME who needs her daddy to come watch her for his lunch break. THAT’S WHY!

So, now… because I didn’t get into the station immediately last week, I’m no longer allowed to interview live because not editing MY pre-recorded interviews, equates to not having time to interview.

With the stipulation of, “I have to prove myself.”  Whoah, whoah, whoah! Now wait just one minute right there.  Prove myself?!

Let me get real for just one moment here!!

NEVER judge someone because you think you know who they are, or how life has treated them because, YOU DON’T. #StuffRareSays

You do NOT know what it’s like to walk in my shoes. I’ve seen things in life, people in their fifties, or older haven’t even begun to have nightmares about because of MY uphill battle. Qualifications, maturity, and wisdom do not come from age, they come from experience. LIFE EXPERIENCE.

let me just say, “I ain’t got shit to prove to nobody.” I know who I am, I know what I’m capable of, I know what I’ve had to go through to get it, and I know my worth because of it.

‘ll tell you one thing is for sure, I will no longer work for free. I had planned to go in and get it going later in the evening. unfinished projects burn a hole in my bottom. I’M AND ARTIST Yet, after that, I decided what is even the point? 
I was left rubbed the wrong way, and stayed irked ALL day.

later that evening…..

As Jay and I sat in my studio winding down, I noticed we had under an hour to start preparing the kids for bedtime. I got up, and gave them their thirty minute reminder. After they brushed their teeth, and got their jammies on, we started cleaning their bathroom OCD status. A sigh of achievement left my lips.

We are getting back on track!! Since I didn’t have much time to spring clean for spring break this year, I am super grateful, we are one step closer to getting it done.

Yesterday being the first consistent day back at our daily lives, put me straight back into your Positive RareBear

With todays moral being:

Know your worth! You ARE valuable.

And guys…

Rarenwise: It is just a username.

RareBear out



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