Tending

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This is my first Saturday off in months and I am choosing to be lazy AF.

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Well except for all those household chores I now have more time to get done.

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Mom life… Gotta love it.

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Being on the grind six days a week, and blogging seven days a week definitely gave me a run for my money
AND
I’m feeling the effects heavily and severely.

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Granted, I’d love to blog seven days a week.
WITHOUT
Having to work 6 days a week on top of it
BUT
Unfortunately,
That is not something this mom of four can afford to do right now.

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And so… 

“You gotta have the grind, in order to … support the grind.”

Finally…
Today’s message will be short, sweet and simple.

 “Slow it down, and tend your own gardens. Remember that our personal gardens require nourishment as well.” #StuffRareSays

But first!

Let me read a book

peacefully reading

Shadows On The Wall

“Now you know” #StuffRareSays

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This week I attended a prep session for a podcast that I will be taking part of soon. I’m excited to be taking part in this exciting new adventure and will hopefully chronicle the process as I go. However, as I walked into the college that I once attended. Memories began to flash right before my eyes. The shadows of a past that this alumni had left behind. A once library, now media lab held a kernel of a memory from a time of my life… That… Began to change me. I couldn’t help but remember the elderly woman I’d once encountered.

“I sat at a table in the commons area of the university taking part in a conversation with two of my friends. It was a painful conversation about my mother who’d passed away within that month. Typically, when a loved one passes away, everyone wants to know “What happened?” So I sat down with my friends and explained not only what happened but how her health issues that ultimately led to her passing had affected me along with expressing the grief that now filled my heart.”   

What both my parents went through impacted me severely.

As my conversation with my friends wrapped up, the three of us looked down with a deepened sadness and hardened gazes. After a few minutes of silence, a hand gently grabbed my shoulder. I turned to find an elderly woman staring at me with empathy. She proceeded to say, “I don’t mean to interrupt but I just wanted to share my condolences about your mother and also say, even though what you went through affected you so severely, it’s because you experienced that with your mother, that you are now more educated.”

Taken a back, I wanted to ream her a new one for not only peering but saying such an insensitive thing to me in the moment. Instead, I lacked any words to express, looked at her steadfast with a contemplative glare.

She then smiled and walked back to her seat at the table she occupied with her friends. In that short moment, thousands of thoughts ran through my head. “What does that mean?”

It all made me ponder.

Instead of clapping back, I took in what the woman said, thought about it and then stored it within my memory bank. 

I looked back at my friends and with shocked stares they merely shrugged. We sat in silence for a moment longer and when I turned back around to look at the woman once more, she and her friends were gone.

The clock struck noon and it was time for class, and so…  my friends and I walked to our class with an eerie aura clouded over us.

That day I was left with a revelation…

“It is within some of the hardest experiences of our lives that will serve to educate us.” #StuffRareSays

She was right.

I did learn something from it.

I changed my diet and my lifestyle…
My life as I knew…
Was no longer the same.
I threw out bad habits
I stopped eating unhealthy food.
AND
Set forth on a new path.

Healthy living.
Mind, body and soul.

AND
Here we are…

It’s about to be the nine years later and I’m sitting in the SAME college a completely different ME. Remembering that girl, I no longer am.
Unable to be her nor connect with that girl I once was.

Denied

“Sleepless nights usually occur when you’ve got a lot weighing on your shoulders.” #StuffRareSays

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Sleepless nights
AND
Baggy eyes
Toss and turn
Rest denied.
©Rarenwise 2-18-19

Reap

“Into the darkness she goes.” #StuffRareSays

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Darkness Rises
Hinders Lifeless
Deets on the brink
Soul wept to reap.
©Rarenwise 2-17-19