Shadows On The Wall

“Now you know” #StuffRareSays

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This week I attended a prep session for a podcast that I will be taking part of soon. I’m excited to be taking part in this exciting new adventure and will hopefully chronicle the process as I go. However, as I walked into the college that I once attended. Memories began to flash right before my eyes. The shadows of a past that this alumni had left behind. A once library, now media lab held a kernel of a memory from a time of my life… That… Began to change me. I couldn’t help but remember the elderly woman I’d once encountered.

“I sat at a table in the commons area of the university taking part in a conversation with two of my friends. It was a painful conversation about my mother who’d passed away within that month. Typically, when a loved one passes away, everyone wants to know “What happened?” So I sat down with my friends and explained not only what happened but how her health issues that ultimately led to her passing had affected me along with expressing the grief that now filled my heart.”   

What both my parents went through impacted me severely.

As my conversation with my friends wrapped up, the three of us looked down with a deepened sadness and hardened gazes. After a few minutes of silence, a hand gently grabbed my shoulder. I turned to find an elderly woman staring at me with empathy. She proceeded to say, “I don’t mean to interrupt but I just wanted to share my condolences about your mother and also say, even though what you went through affected you so severely, it’s because you experienced that with your mother, that you are now more educated.”

Taken a back, I wanted to ream her a new one for not only peering but saying such an insensitive thing to me in the moment. Instead, I lacked any words to express, looked at her steadfast with a contemplative glare.

She then smiled and walked back to her seat at the table she occupied with her friends. In that short moment, thousands of thoughts ran through my head. “What does that mean?”

It all made me ponder.

Instead of clapping back, I took in what the woman said, thought about it and then stored it within my memory bank. 

I looked back at my friends and with shocked stares they merely shrugged. We sat in silence for a moment longer and when I turned back around to look at the woman once more, she and her friends were gone.

The clock struck noon and it was time for class, and so…  my friends and I walked to our class with an eerie aura clouded over us.

That day I was left with a revelation…

“It is within some of the hardest experiences of our lives that will serve to educate us.” #StuffRareSays

She was right.

I did learn something from it.

I changed my diet and my lifestyle…
My life as I knew…
Was no longer the same.
I threw out bad habits
I stopped eating unhealthy food.
Set forth on a new path.

Healthy living.
Mind, body and soul.

Here we are…

It’s about to be the nine years later and I’m sitting in the SAME college a completely different ME. Remembering that girl, I no longer am.
Unable to be her nor connect with that girl I once was.

Has It Been That Long Already 😮


You know, I do this a lot. I construct certain posts that are meant for specific days, and then….life… just kinda reminds me thats not how these things work. 

It was a two day battle for our family. One that started late the evening March 19th, 2010. I still remember the boiling fury that led my blood to sizzle as my brother finally got a hold of me. Not a second past 11:12pm. The first time I’d ever heard fear, and pain  in his voice when he howled my name……

I rushed to the hospital but by then, it was already too late. Dad stood next to her with a down and defeated look on his face. I walked up to him, place my arm around his shoulder and stared at mom for a few moments. Her body so… Lifeless. A pain in my heart, I can still remember today.  I turned to look at dad and asked, “Has anyone called _____?” (Hehe bet you thought I was gonna cave there huh?) dad had no response. He was … Numb to everything around him except what was happening to mom.

So I called my oldest bro, and we waited. He drove up from out of state so we could handle matters as a family. The mutual decision was made. On March 21st,2010 we lost the glue that held it all. The very crux of our worlds gone like a dust storm, swooping in and disheveling  everything behind it. 
To be continued….

See ya on the next one😎🖖



Strive For Better

“Effective leaders do not speak to others as though they are stupid.”


“Integrity is an essential key to being a great leader.”

Have you ever had the drive to make a difference? Is it a passion? Does it keep you up at night?

A friend and I got together Monday evening for a peaceful walk. While walking we discussed the urges we had to get involved again. Lo and behold, the next day a town meeting was being held. So we went.

“What you project, returns seven fold.” 

We put out into the universe what we wanted. You can imagine it felt like destiny. However, it saddened me that only ten faces occupied the seats in that room. We all know there are more than ten peeps in a community. These ten people had the power of voice. Meanwhile, the rest of the community is sitting back kicking it with the wool thrown over their eyes.

The things is: Nothing will ever change for the better, if you don’t first step up to the plate and offer your input. Every individual is an important piece to the whole, and without that beautiful mind, no one would know.

The point: Get out there and get involved. Whether it be sitting quietly in a town meeting, or volunteering your time and energy for a non-profit. If you’re not willing to get your feet wet, you won’t ever learn to swim.

The community I live in, has always been a town JUST for adults. There is nothing fruitful for the youth. Truthfully, I’m in my thirties, and this town still offers nothing for me. Why? I don’t drink. that is the only entertainment this town offers. The glorious joys of kidney and liver damage. Yay for us!


There’s more to life.

Kids get into drugs, they become addicted, and then we have problems. We lose our youth to pure boredom. Even still, there is nothing fruitful. Ask yourself, do you want the future leaders of your community to be divided, or united. I posted a powerful post two days ago. It stated,

“United we stand, divided we fall.” (Click here to view post)

I’m a mother of four, and truth be told, we never have anything to do. We have to drive out-of-town to do anything substantial as a family, and that is quite frankly disappointing. It merely encourages us to move.

The bottom line: While making life fruitful for our youth may be MY  passion, everyone has their own drive. What is your drive? What’s stopping you from making it a reality?

Is the reality around you really the big picture? Yes…..No?

Make the difference that you would want to see!

Get involved, and fill those seats. Be part of something greater than yourself. Become a team.

Late 😉

Inspirational Tuesday 6-7-16

Some days, there’s not always that inspirational tug to pull from. Sometimes, I just want to unplug and completely disconnect. There is so much opportunity during the summer, that I just can’t help myself. 😁😇

My apologies, today I ran late with my inspirational Tuesday. However, I did take one side note with me

The sound of singing crickets fill the nights air now. There is somethig about that sound in the summertime that gives off such a peaceful hum. I mean, unless you’ve got one inside your house.  Then you’ve got yourself a pest who PURPOSELY chirps as your drifting into your deep sleep. JERK!

Tonight’s reflection was a frequent one I tend to have. 

“How we grow up impacts the being we are shaped into.” #stuffraresays

We all walk along in life, one experience after another. After a while, we rack up quite the bar tab….eh… you know what I mean. We all carry baggage. Think of moving. If you’ve moved several times, you’ll know that with every move (change, growth) comes more stuff to carry. This so called game we call life gravitates all energy, thoughts and contemplation from the mere power we carry in our minds. It’s why I push the quote, “Change your thoughts, change your life.” So much. If you carry your baggage as a sheild you will always hold it over everyone else’s head. You begin to have unrealistic expectations within your relationships . Holding onto hurt, anger, depression, even heartbreak can shape you into quite the bitter one.

On the flipside, positive thoughts about life, career, finances, needs, um… everything! Fills you up more. The difference truly lays within your perception. It’s the is-your-glass-half-full-or-empty kinda moment.
The power is yours, and your the only one with the key to unlock it.

Here are a few examples:
– only children tend to grow up not ever truly knowing and understanding conpromise, teamwork, or cohabitating.
-siblings usually have all those traits but are also stronger in the emotional sense. Why? Who picks on you the worst? …. Yuh!

As for the rest of the examples, I’m positive you can come up with your life reflections involving this.

The point is, that we often carry these imprints forever. They seep out into your daily life, and routines. As an only child, you may have less patience for things. On the vise versa, a person with a few siblings may be quite the patient person because they’ve learned to deal with others, and mastered the art of conflict resolution.


This post was constructed on my phone. I apologize for any typos, or glitches.