I recently had an experience at work, where another VERY young employee made an assumption about me. With her assumption, she started at me with vulgar language, and profanity. At first, I shrugged it off, but with each interaction, she began to escalate her attitude, and anger.
Her goal: She REALLY wanted a rise out of me.
Instead of giving her the rise, I went straight to our manager and let them know what she was doing, and was merely told to stop fighting with her. OK
Easy enough, I wasn’t fighting.
However, because she WASN’T getting the rise she wanted she continued, getting more vulgar, belligerent, and up in my face.
In psychology, we are taught that people who get in your face are looking for a physical altercation. In real life, IT’S THE SAME!
Therefore, I started verbally defending myself because she wasn’t being dealt with properly, and I was getting blamed for it.
For the love of GAWD!! I have four kiddos at home to counsel, I wasn’t up for babysitting at work.
It needed to stop, and she was acting overtly hostile. ESPECIALLY when she’s on this “I can’t stand high school b/s kick.” My response, “Cool, then drop it.”
Who would have thought, warning your manager of a potential violent situation would make you the little kid though?
Shame on me for trying to prevent a fight.
I don’t know how many times I gotta say this, but I DON’T do drama!!
And when your treated like a shitty person for trying to prevent it, that is…
I eventually began crying to myself, because of how the manager was treating me for the situation. He sided with her, even though she was in the wrong. He sided with her, and refused to stop her from her rampage. He watched her fight with me, and did nothing about it, until I had to get really upset about it. Even then, she kept at it.
In situations like this, managers should ALWAYS remain non bias. You can’t resolve conflict by picking sides, AND you should NEVER allow the hostile employee to stay for the shift.
You are SUPPOSE to talk to both of them at the SAME time, through conflict resolution. Figure out who is actually causing the problems and deal with them then.
I kept getting in trouble for her shenanigans. Eventually, I got sent home.
ME not her.
Lesson: I was taught that by trying to be the bigger person and do the right thing, is the WRONG thing.
This girl was escalating her aggression to the point where she could have hit me, and I was getting in trouble for NOT LETTING IT GO???
NO ONE is going to take that kind of abuse from someone and not speak up for themselves, and no one in their right mind should expect you to endure something like that. ESPECIALLY at work. HELLO! professional environment. Act accordingly.
One day she will be a mother, and she too will be in her thirties, working her bottom off to support those kids, and have a 20 something childless youngin’ on her the same way. Only then, will she realize the severity of her actions.
Until, then there lays an even larger problem. An unhealthy work environment, and a manager who picks favorites.
This girl asked me, to cover her shift for her. For two weeks, she made it a point to remind not to forget, I was doing her a solid.
This is how she thanked me