How else will you be able to overcome them?
You must understand them.
I’ve spent the majority of my life…struggling. Not in the sense of depression, or defeat. I can admit, I’ve lived through plenty of hardships. Some I feel comfortable talking about, others I don’t. My biggest struggle has always been discrimination. Yes… Me… your humble inspirer. I’ve spent more time fighting against being the outcast, then I have succeeding. I’ve been stifled, shut out, and overlooked. Hmmm… Let’s rewind a few seconds. I consider myself successful. I have four children who are diamonds in the rough; kindhearted, good-natured, respectful, moralistic, intelligent and strong. Although that isn’t why I’m successful, my success comes from being surrounded by family, love, and happiness.
Because I choose it.
All I’ve ever wanted to do in life is…make it. That’s harder than you think to achieve. For me, things don’t come easy. I’m never good enough, I have no depth, I don’t fit in, and I’m intimidating. Awesome! I have many haters. YAY ME! 😉 (Before you get all preachy on me, this is not my personal self trash talk. This comes from things people say to me.)
Again, I’m not here to complain about having haters. Mom taught me from very young, “If people have a problem with you, that is their problem not yours.” I walk along in this world with that very mentality. It’s my M/O (Modus Operandi)
You see, I’m always climbing from the very bottom. I stand no chance most often than not. Yet.. I strive. I struggle, I hope, I desire, and I am determined. Yes, I’ll admit I have experienced many rejections, failures, mishaps , obstacles, and discrimination. I won’t go into detail about the discrimination I’ve had to experience. That is a can of worms that shall depressurized slowly. However, It’s not an easy thing to have hanging over your head.
The thing is… I guess that’s why I’m here. Everyday. It’s not because I think I’m oh so holy and have this deep connection with ______ (whatever you want to call it) It’s because my life hasn’t always been a glorious image. I’ve seen much, experienced lots, and have deeply reflected from it all. Truthfully, therein lays my reason.
It’s so difficult, that it’s hard to share. Only, it is through my story, that I want to help others. I wouldn’t wish several of my experiences on anyone, and I sit/stand/write/ speak before you not to be the cocky know it all blogger, but as someone who’s dug through the trenches enough times, that if you really knew, It would break your heart. (Let’s just not go there.)
Things I’ve kept from family, and reasons I am who I am. Forever shaping me.
Life has bested us all.
I have tried many times to breakthrough in this world, and make something out of myself. A career, purpose, productivity. It’s hard! (Before you say anything, trust me I’ve tried very hard!)
I still lay dormant in “That” Who am I? I ask myself that everyday. Where am I going? Well that is quite unsteady. What am I doing? I don’t know, I guess I’ll let you know when I figure that all out.
For now, I’m a mother of four, sharing my musings on the internet world, and creating YouTube videos because its fun. It’s … the only thing I’ve got keeping me sane.
It’s that hour a day I dedicate to do “Me”
You … are my reason.
My greatest desire is to make a difference. To shed a light in this now darkened world. Life is precious. If I can reach just one soul with my story, than I’ve succeeded. Today, Only you know if I’m dong my job. I only spiel.
Guys I’ve made two companion pieces to this… Please view them on YouTube:
Sometimes in life we hit speed bumps. It’s important to remember that these moments, how we handle them, how we react in the moment of impact defines who we are. Don’t let that confuse you because despite these moments it’s important that you do not let what happened define who you are. Your character, your inner-strength, your wisdom, your personality, your mind, even your demeanor determines who you are. Remember those keywords. Beauty comes from those aspects not your looks, your body, your hair, your shoes, your clothes, your purse, or your cars, those are all materialistic things. Things you cannot carry with you throughout your life. Memories are what will always be left behind. People will always remember how you made them feel more than anything else you do. It is what we have inside us that matters the most. How we handle our grievances for example; I am the girl who becomes numb to the emotions of funerals because in the moment of distress, I stand strong on my feet, for the sake of the others who need me. The day my mother died, my father looked to me for help on a most bitter decision. For her funeral, I looked over and saw his turmoil. I did what any person with great inner-strength would do. I mustered up all my strength, and I reached out for his hand. I held his hand. I was there for him. Don’t get me wrong. It hurt like H E Double hockey sticks to lose my mom. Every woman needs her mother, but my dad, (my light) I knew hurt more. His life partner, the love of his life lay there gone, only a shell. I stood strong for the sake of the ones I love. I stayed strong to get through it. I did. I do, and I will. Remember, I mention these real life moments as a means to back up my claims. Life is full of hiccups, and obstacles, your mind, your mentality you have going through it defines your true colors. Another example; I had relatives that in true times of need, stopped at nothing to bring me more down than I already was. One in particular, attacked my brothers and I with hurtful words, and behind our backs began trying to turn us against each other. My parents taught us a valuable lesson. As you saw in the last post, I shared a picture of my dad while in the military, hanging out with his three kids on a peer in Germany. We were taught early in life how important it was for family to be close. Rather than family strife, which is something you see more and more these days, we were shown the idea of backing each other up. We had to. We moved a lot early in life, and while what an exciting ride, we only had each other for support, and friendship. Therefore, my point lays within:
“Our rift did not occur because my brothers and I are stronger than that.”
I am grateful for that. A moment of impact is most powerful. It can rip you to shreds, it can break you apart, and it can destroy your insides. I can’t stress this enough. Always choose your words, your actions, and your behavior wisely, because the way you are in your darkest moments, or your spouses, friends, or anyone else’s darkest moments, says a lot about who you are. A moment of silence in a fierce moment of pain, anger, hurt, agony, can save you thousands of ruined relationships. I become numb. To me there is a right place and time for things. I do not engage, I do not feed into, and I close my eyes when I’m about to cry. I breathe, and remember the most important thing there is to know.
You look in that mirror and you see your eyes. Peer into that soul and say “I got this.” because we all do.
Every human goes through loss. It doesn’t have to be a passing of a loved one. It can be a loss of an animal, job, relationship, love, a favorite blanket, etc. no matter what, no matter how small these losses may seem, they do impact us. They change us. That is what we are here to do. “To live and learn.” Courtesy of My Dad.
For any of my readers out there who are experiencing any grief of any sort, I commend you because you are still here, still going, and strong within.