Another Reason

In the final countdown of “13 Reasons Why” Season two. We see a tragic and mortifying reality.

STILL in defense of  Bryce, the biggest and baddest bullies of the school, attack Tyler in the bathroom. For many teenagers, being targeted, cornered and/or pinned down is a tribulation faced all to often.

For those of you who haven’t seen this scene, it was quite a brutal one. So brutal, had it gone just an inch farther could have costed Tyler his life.

IN SCHOOL!!

After having his head slammed into a bathroom sink, and being raped by a mop stick, Tyler was left sulking in his own shame inside the boys bathroom. 

Go figure parents…. It’s possible that when our kids are at school, they aren’t safe and/or possibly in danger.

This scene in itself speaks a message:

Where were the teachers? 


As the episode progresses, Tyler sits at his desk deeply wounded. After lying to his mother about how great his day was at school, he checks his wound, and still finds blood. 

That’s bad!!!

Within moments, Tyler is reacting: He opens up his suitcase full of guns and he wants his revenge.

And so…He heads to the school, armed and ready to lash. If not for someone tipping off Clay, AND Clay being brave enough to greet Tyler outside before reaching the building, things could have happened very different that evening at their school dance.

Tyler places the gun to Clays head because Clay is merely in his way. Tyler almost eliminates Clay, but while in the line of fire and a dire moment Clay hollers, “I don’t want you to die!”

Assuming that if Tyler  went off on his peers, the end result would be his own death by authorities.

In a moment of justice within injustice, Tyler calms himself realizing that maybe someone did care for him.

Being ostracized by everyone at school was something Tyler was dealing with on a daily basis, and while on an island all to himself most days, Clay’s refreshing sense of friendship puts Tyler at ease.

Tony, then rolls up in his car, thrusting the passenger door open, “Get in the car!”

Tyler looks at Clay, “Whaaat?”
Clay responds, “It’s OK, just go.”

Tony shouted, “Get in the car!” Once more.

“Go!” Clay adds, and Tyler hops in.

With that, they shuffle Tyler as far away from the school as possible.

In an innate desire to experience no more death, Clay, and Tony become the everyday heroes the evening needed.


This episode left me thinking: Lately, there has been an abundance of school attacks. Done by students.

You see, as I stated in my “1 Reason Why” post everyone involved in escalating a situation is responsible for those end results.

While, we all to often blame one person or the other when dealing with a situation, we tend to forget about what incidents may have led up to that point.

Tyler’s actions in the last episode of the season shines a light on the realities of teen violence, the result of bullying, and the impact that anger, hatred, shaming, and strife leaves.

It also opens closed eyes to the reality of these incidents we are seeing, and hearing about around the nation with our teenagers.

While, some people may not like the series, I will say that as someone who searches for deeper meanings, there are a lot of HARSH REALITIES that “13 Reasons Why” raises awareness to.

“In the wake of tragedies, everyone involved plays a part, and everyone involved is severely impacted.” #StuffRareSays

With that said, as Clay did. Offering your friendship upon another can often make all the difference in the world. Ultimately, as I’ve often said,

“In a world full of haters, choose to be an encourager.”

Therein lays the difference. Empower people, be there for people, accept people, and love people. It’s all it takes.  


1 Reason Why

As you all know, I did watch and finish season 2 of “13 reasons Why”.

You see, I generally watch these types of shows for the underlining meaning and messages, and not necessarily for the fireworks we expect from TV shows.

Fireworks = All the bells and whistles, story arch’s, and big bangs at the end of the episodes, AND seasons.

And so….. I began my journey down the rabbit hole.

As I watched the second season on Netflix vicariously through Clay’s point of view, I took special notice of several incidents within the season.

Today, I’m only going to focus on one of them. The others, can wait for other segments. 


Clay sat with his dad nearbye a tree, perched on a stone wall after his testimony. As they sat dumbfounded by the results, of the day. Who wouldn’t? The female lawyer who fought for the opposing side sure did an amazing job at stumbling the students on the podium.

Her goal: To make Hannah look like a horrible person. Through the entire experience, she fought tooth and nail on the concept that it wasn’t the school’s fault that Hannah killed herself. Despite the fact that Hannah had come to several teachers for help, and didn’t recieve it. She also fought that Bryce was not to blame for raping her because it was Hannah’s responsibility and own fault for being in that situation. Despite the reality that Bryce was part of a longtime and deep rooted rape ring that dated back several years and targeted many girls over the that time frame.

I couldn’t help but wonder…In real life how someone can defend these types of actions and still live with themselves, or even sleep at night?

Whoah Whoah Whoah 

I am in no way condoning suicide, or saying that it is the answer. What I am saying is that, in these types of situations ALL parties involved are responsible for the outcome.

Funny, If I had encountered that woman, I probably would have thrown the remark, “Beesh! Unless you’ve been raped!…. You have no right!” In her face.

Bottom Line:  The woman proved a very unfortunate reality. People who don’t go through traumatic experiences such as rape, abuse, etc. will NEVER know or understand it. Therefore, they will demonize. Whomever they see fit.

Back to the point:

Clay’s father looks over at him and asks, “Why is it that kids keep secrets from their parents? … Why is it that kids don’t tell their parents anything ever?”

They shared thoughtful glances with each other and his father proceeded to ask, “Is it shame? It can’t be fear of punishment because no one’s punished for anything anymore.”

He then looked directly at clay and asked another question, “Are you afraid we wont understand?”

Clay responded, “More like afraid you’ll understand to well.”

Clay’s dad shrugs with thoughtful contemplation and asks, “So your protecting your secrets?”

With a hardhitting statement Clay finishes off the conversation by saying, “Or were protecting you.”

A powerful moment of the season.

I may not be a teenager anymore, THANK GAWD! But I still do rememeber what It was like to be one. OUCH!

I would agree that there is a small factor of shame involved when it comes to sharing with your parents. Most importantly, fear of disappointment.

Why?

It doesn’t matter how many punishments or  consequences you face, there is nothing quite like that sharp bitter cut and feeling of disappointing your parents.

Along with that dissapointment also comes a change in opinion. Therein lays the most excruciating part of it all. Knowing that your parents may never look at you the same is also a very painful feeling.

Why? 

As kids we’re either making our parents proud, or we are dissapointing them, and most times we don’t get to pick.

Thinking about it in respect to Hannah, she was raped. For girls/woman, being raped isn’t just something they get over. They have to live with it. They are shamed by it, they re degraded by it, and they are quite simply embarresed beyond all measure by it. To expect her to reveal something so horrid to her parents, without all those underlining emotions and feelings, is like expecting  to fly up to the moon on fart fumes alone.

Ready for take off!!

As a parent, This series not only opens my eye’s to my future teenagers in my house, but because not too long ago, I too was hormonal fueled teen with similar issues myself. While not every teen has the SAME experiences, we can all relate to the rite of passeges that teens DO go through. Whether positive or negative, we face them.

In conclusion, while we all believe we’ve been there done that. As I stated above, everyone experiences a different journey, and everyone has a different story to tell. Which means, just because you went through it, doesn’t mean your kiddos are going through that exact same thing. No one feels, nor experiences anything the same. Next time your kids drop a bomb on you, before you use the I’ve been there talk, maybe take a moment to realize,  maybe you haven’t????

 

Rather than “Knowing” maybe simply “Emphasizing” is the KEY.


Here’s Why!

Photography ©Rare-Ity 2015

Photography ©Rare-Ity 2015


Want to know why my morning post topic affected me so much???

Last weekend, our hometown hosted its yearly community celebration. It’s the Catholic church representation of their patron saints. I may not throw out an abundance of religious spiel, and I may not be catholic, but this event is part of a tradition that dates back decades.

The Point: there are people swarming so chaotically around each other, I swear if you’re as anti-social as I, it’s like your swimming in a sea full of piranhas.

When Jay and I were leaving (with our three small children under five), two teenage boys passed us; coming the opposite way.

OK well this is where s*** goes wrong!!

OK no … but what did you think when you heard the term teenager? Really though?

These two young men STOPPED, and paused. letting US go by. I didn’t notice as much while carrying my princess in my arms, and loving her cheekies; until Jay said, “Thank you.” I then turned back and asked, “What?”

“Those kids stopped and let us pass, just letting them know we appreciate it.” That made my heart light up. Why?

Because those two boys will remember that for the rest of their lives. Why? How often do teenagers get praised for good? They did a good Deed, and Jay saw that acknowledging that deed, would create endless ripples.

…..

Our future leaders of the world. Have we started to harbor that torch within them?  Because in a matter of years that throne will be theirs. 

I then proceeded to say, “That is a reflection of good parenting.”

The moral value of the story is:  Two youthful teenagers, respected a family with three young children, more than an elder (Click here for more details) 

By no means, do I intend to harm or offend. I’m not criticizing. I have no idea how these people’s days started off, and for that I cannot judge.

The Reflection: Don’t let the world make you bitter. You matter!


“Live, love, and enjoy. You only got one shot.” ©Rare-ity 2016

Movin' On Up

When did Pomp and Circumstance (Graduation song) become a mash up with Star Wars?

I am one to love me some Star Wars theme music, but at a graduation… Come on now… Darth Vader did not make these kids graduate. Meh! Now had the band played the song while the teachers walked on, that would have made my day 😉

As our 8th grader topped off her middle school days with a graduation ceremony, I pondered… Why the heck didn’t they have something like that for us when I was that age?

Even though these types of ceremonies tend to drag on, you want to also be proud. I mean… who isn’t excited when their kids reach their first milestones? Hey did anyone tell you how hard It is to sit within a large crowd of people during a boring ceremony with four little ones. The 3 year old crashed into baby blues head attempting to kiss her. Sweet pea cannot listen even if it could save her fawking life, Honey bear… well he’s going through a DON’T TALK TO ME stage. The kids are raging out of boredom … Have you ever thought holy shit our kids are making us look bad RIGHT NOW! (Face palm)

There was some wisdom given… Something about 

“Don’t let the noise of others around you drown out the noise of your own opinion of yourself.”

Hmm OK yeah that’s some great advice to give our future highschoolers of the world, BUT!  OK …The guy was quite the awkward advice giver. As he spoke, the message wasnt reaching or coming out sensibly.
(Zzzzzz oops was I falling asleep there?)

After a two hour blabbing session about how we shall follow our dreams, and really… no guys.. really … just don’t forget… you really gotta reach higher.
“Did that speaker seriously just say that? LIKE THAT!!!”
Higher than what? Are you saying each and every individual sitting here today should reach higher then their personal dreams and goals! Lady…LADY… stop!… just stop!! Tell them their dreams matter and to reach for that. Nothing is greater than a passion. Ask them what drives them, and to follow that itch. For fucks sake stop crushing their dreams.

Can somebody please tell me why I am not out their in the world as an inspirational speaker?
Tonight showed me, not everyone can inspire the world with a little MIND BLOWN! (My specialty)

Oh geez… did that sound cocky? 😑

Oh look their handing out those diplomas.

Congrats Lunar!!!!
Click here to see the clip

WordPress doesn’t love me anynore 😢 it doesn’t allow my videos to upload. Oh and this post was done through a phone .. 😕 Sorry.

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